mirrors

I've been thinking about how awesome it is that we are able to find ourselves a little community online. Nowadays we're able to find whatever we want from hair tips to house decor, it's all just a click away on our computers. Unfortunately, all this exposure also has a downside, something that feels almost intrinsic to us women: comparison. 

I often catch myself looking at people on instagram and hoping I'll find someone with my face shape, my body and hair type, my style, my beliefs.. it's almost as if I'm trying to find myself out there in order to believe it's ok to be me. Like I need someone else to be similar to me so that I feel I belong somewhere,  that I'm just fine, that I fit in. 

that is surely a tension we all need to deal with, to some degree we're all outsiders, but on other senses we all fit in, even if it's in the truth that we all are unique limited human beings. 

the thing is, we'll never find another sample of us and that's wonderful! Imagine what life would be like if, instead of trying to be or look like someone else, we put that effort into becoming ourselves and embracing our uniqueness! Now, that sounds pretty good to me. What if instead of trying to shape ourselves and others into what we think we and they should be, we encouraged ourselves and our friends to be what they feel comfortable and called to be? Fully wearing their own skin, stepping into the path that is their own with no hesitation or regret.

This is surely one thing I gained from challenging myself to live as I say I believe and giving a shot at my curly hair: the awareness of who I am and of how beautiful people are in the little details that make them be who they are. It's been the heck of a journey. So many changes. I've had to learn to be on my own team, to protect myself from my inner critic and to stand my ground on what I truly believe and want for me and others. It's been truly life changing. 

It hasn't been about my hair as much as it bas been about self-discovery. what a blessing to desire nothing but to be yourself and to be intentional about it! and how healing it is to understand that who we are goes beyond what we look like or what accomplishments we have. 

So, while I think it's awesome and empowering to have a community online and to have access to so many great ideas and people, I consider necessary to find balance and to hold back on the temptation of comparing ourselves to others. It's a dialectic relationship, belonging and fitting in vs. appreciating our differences and embracing our uniqueness. 

We can all serve as inspiration and encouragement to the people around us because we all have influence over people, regardless of noticing it or not. However, I think the best way to achieve that is by being true to ourselves and others and loving ourselves and others genuinely. 

As cliche as it is, there's no greater transforming power than love. So love freely, empower people and remember that no lipstick is more beautiful than a smile followed by encouraging words, no cleavage is hotter than a compassionate heart and nothing speaks louder than the silence of our loving actions towards others and towards ourselves.