Yet another text about being twenty-something

Yes. allow me to just go straight to the point. It is scary. like you've gotta walk on your own and, even though there have been chairs for you to hold on to, they're more slippery than ever. you may still have got no idea of which direction to go - but this time, the direction seems to matter more. every decision suddenly feels like a big deal.

You wanna throw yourself out there. You wanna be fearless and creative, as they say you should in order to accomplish something. Instead, you sit at home staring at a window wishing you were living someone else's life. the thing is, it is time to grow up. for some of us, it is almost past that time. eek. however, what exactly does that mean? I'm still trying to figure out - and I suspect we all are. Is it having your own business? owning a house? having a steady job? getting married? being financially independent? graduating school? living abroad? having babies? volunteering? being a speaker at a ted-x? starting your own ngo? seeing past yourself? I can't tell, there's no passage ritual these days yet there are so many benchmarks..

I do know what my experience tells me, though. My twenties are nothing like I predicted they'd be and it turns out I am so glad for most of it. what's unexpected can be uncomfortable but it can also be just what you need to find yourself. as time passes, I realize that the more I try to fit into a mold the more anxious and pressured I feel. the thing about being a twenty-something is that reality hits hard. we start to have less time to get together with friends, we fear not being able to handle our finances with our underpaid job and we're constantly comparing ourselves to what we see on the internet, to what we are expected to be, to someone else's life. all of a sudden we start to feel inadequate.

all of a sudden we're worrying about savings, health insurance, financial security, building a family, being there for our folks, buying a house, getting a promotion, eating healthier and the list goes on. all of a sudden you're attending your friends' weddings, exercising more so your back doesn't hurt, feeling clueless about the newest boyband, having trouble to remember all your appointments, buying babies' gifts, choosing to stay home on a Friday night so that you can rest after an overwhelming week of work. and life may become a huge to-do list that will help you stay on track in order to accomplish what you learned to think you should.

It is true that we have to deal with our own insecurities and are expected to have a level of maturity to handle life and its challenges in a positive way, but a number doesn't change everything magically. the fact that we now have to be responsible - coz life requires that, doesn't mean that it is an easy transition. the pressure can become unbearable and all the 'shoulds' can keep you from simply enjoying where you are. If there's one thing I've learned from being a twenty-something is that molds will never get you where you want. and while you're still trying to figure out what it actually is that you want, following someone else's path won't do the trick either. our lives shouldn't be about what-we-are-supposed-to-do, coz often what-we're-supposed-to-do is something someone else imposed on us - possibly, with all the good intentions in the world.

What-you're-supposed-to-do only makes sense if what comes after is what you want to do. What-you're-supposed-to-do has got to be your plan to accomplish what you want, based on where your passion lies. right?!

but know you are not alone. know you are meant to be who you are. know that you are on your own path and no one else should be allowed to tell you what it should look like. know the essentials in your life are what you need them to be and that they can change - as many times as you want. and know that regardless of feeling ready or not, you are okay. you are free. to live, to love and to embrace yourself. there is absolutely no need to question and doubt yourself - trust me, you will find a lot of people that will do that for you. enjoy being who you are. mind the doubts and fear that come along but don't let them hold you back. welcome the mistakes. they'll teach you valuable lessons. If you must, cry your eyes out when you feel you've failed - it does take a few falls before you can stand firm on your own feet. strive for something greater and have big goals and dreams, but, please, don't forget to enjoy today, even if it isn't what you wish it were. You are indeed growing - and becoming more yourself, I hope - but what they barely ever tell you is that there will always be room for growth. So, being disappointed in yourself for your faults, lack of maturity, failures and shortcomings will always be a part of the road, but eventually - hopefully sooner than later, we will all feel comfortable in our own skin. we'll be more confident to make our choices and more free to enjoy what truly matters in life. and that can be anything, as long as it is meaningful to you!

drinking your grandma's coffee, dancing by yourself in your room, enjoying the sunset in your city, traveling the world, getting married, learning a new language, adopting a puppy, writing a book, calling that old friend of yours, falling in love, quitting your job, going back to school, starting to paint just because, dyeing your hair blue, talking to strangers at the bus station, making music, doing all of the above or doing none at all. maybe reading less texts like this, maybe coming up with your own. but whatever you do, be fully there, where you are. no matter how old you are, no matter how scared you feel, just live and embrace the spontaneity and vulnerability that may have seemed so dreadful once before.  

what you are building now can be wonderful, even if it doesn't look like what we see on instagram. don't rush into anything just because it seems like you have to, you're ok and it's your life! and remember, there's no need to wait for the next big thing to be happy. repeat this to yourself as many times as needed till you believe it, it will help you feel grateful and sufficient. besides, the daily nothings are probably what we'll remember and cherish the most in the long run. it does take time, courage and patience to get somewhere and to be yourself, but the freedom it brings is worth all the ups and downs. Once you start to accept yourself and embrace your flaws and strengths - and your flaws as strengths!, you start to live freely. your own unique path becomes what truly makes you thrive. regardless of a number, we're all free and there's beauty in simply being. there's beauty in enjoying.

picture source: facebook